playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
