hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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