You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
