I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
