One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
