fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
