I can text with my tongue
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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