Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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