I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We have so much sex to catch up on
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
