I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
