How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
