Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
