do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think my fart just growled at me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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