You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
