it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
