yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
FUCK WHALES
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
