I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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