I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
