Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
