stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
