after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
