I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
