When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
