What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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