honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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