Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
