Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
do herpes really smell.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
