I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
