i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The air was thick with penises
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
