I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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