Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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