I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My vagina just recognized that song.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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