so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
