Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
