You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
