Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
