I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you would pick up someone in the library
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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