So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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