Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
