He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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