I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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