I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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