went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
