Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You left your phone here
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