her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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