Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
