It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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