i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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