so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
