dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
