if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
