Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
